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To the Mother-to-be!

Dear Mom-To-Be,

"Mother"

“Mother”

So this letter is to those mom’s-to-be from me, as i have seen through my eyes, being around a mother. Hope this letter resonates your thoughts and puts in lots of strength inside of you.

Well, Congratulations for the big promotion! From being a girl, to a lady to now being a mother. Motherhood awaits you. A journey so fulfilling and maybe gruel-some, taking you on a roller coaster ride. Over the next two years, it will be super special. It might take you on a roller coaster ride, but i assure you, it will bring out the best of you!

Isn’t it exciting, a whole new being is coming from inside of you. Wow, that feeling itself is so special. A whole new life awaits you. Someone is going to come, who is going to “teach” you more than you are going to! Someone who is going to define love for you in a completely different language, who will communicate through feeling and touch, till it utters the way we do! There might be moments which may be uncomfortable and tiring, something that will exhaust you to the core, but that is what defines commitment, priority and understanding.

The special one is going to experience the world where you have now become a master in so many fields. It is going to see the world through you. It is going to learn through you and it cannot be taught the way we teach. Not through logic. It will understand the language of care, compassion, innocence and understanding. I wish the very best to you, to do that. You are going to be super special to someone. Someone for whom the world will be YOU! Who is going to cling to you for care and support and impart you the strength to care it!

The clock may not be same for you when your special one comes, but i assure you, if you live by its clock, you will never feel bad about anything. For the time to come, priorities might change, sacrifices will seem obvious at times, but if you vow to live by the loved one as if it is a gift from God itself, then i assure you, each day will be special. Every moment will be a privilege to serve the One. Any day you feel down, you remember how special you are, to be blessed to be a mother.

To be granted a privilege to experience the infinite love from the special one. Your days and night will go on to live and think about that special one, but rest assured your love for all is the same. People may say you have changed, but deep down you are the same. It’s just a matter of time and priority that tells each one of us to act what is best for in the moment. And if time puts you in the position, put yourself, your child, family and Guru above all. If time lets you choose, you choose that which has empowered you.

From the time, your child steps into this world, your whole timetable might change. Maybe you will never be able to go out without it’s permission. It will not understand anything the way you perceive things, everything will be new to the child. For you the iPhone is different from Nokia because you know it’s value. But for the child, everything is same, it’s just a thing. So don’t scold it, because it doesn’t understand the difference, you should know what it doesn’t know and keep your “valuable” things beyond it’s reach. Child will also bring in a whole new set of issues to deal for you. From not wanting to stay in the clothes you want it to wear, to choosing the pee at odd times, to tiring you to run around it. Your priorities and awareness is going to change for your child. Don’t be surprised or feel guilty that you do not do the same things you did before the child came. People are going to point you out that! To that, just be aware and don’t take it too much in to your mind. It’s okay to prioritize and do what you feel appropriate to deal the situation.

Your shopping list is going to change a lot! It’s going to talk about baby, baby and more baby. For adults, a cold may not be so serious, but if anything happens to the baby, it might look like a war like situation for you. Go ahead. Deal with that like a Major General.

You will need a lot of support for yourself. It’s not that you are not complete. It’s that you need everything just happens for the best at all times.

Initially you might look a lot more aware of everything around the baby. But then, it may become monotonous, tiring and frustrating. Conveying to the child can become a task. It might cry incessantly or just go into a zone and will not tell you what happened. It may become a clue hunt for you. But once you observe the child, you learn how it is communicating to you. What it wants and what it doesn’t. It’s going to fall down a lot. Let the child fall and support the child at all times. Teach it in the way it wants it to be.

It will cry like hell and the moment next it will laugh and create a heavenly atmosphere. It is going to teach you a lot, to let go of emotions and live your life fully. Although you will teach it a lot many things, it is going to make you unlearn a whole set of things. All those trivial things it’s going to make it important for you.

As you are living and exploring motherhood and watching things unfold for the first time, stay close to your best buddies who have become mother, your mother, mother-in-law, whoever close to you who has taken care of a baby in it’s initial years. Communicate and be in touch with them, they are going to help you out to understand the changes that takes place inside of you and to your baby and how to deal with people around you. Talking helps a lot. Don’t sit down and cry and keep it to yourself, talk to them and solve one after another. That’s how motherhood can be better for you. If it’s your first time, please don’t get harsh on yourself. Know the imperfections and try to tackle it.

Trust this, you might neglect a whole new set of people because you won’t have time to think about them. Life’s going to get super busy. But that’s okay.

Love your body and be besides it as things might change after the baby. Give it the highest priority. The initial years are the time, you give maximum attention to yourself and the baby. Of course this can become a life-long habit 🙂

Being a mother was a choice made by you and your partner. Living it will be a journey. A journey which may not seem to be as exciting as those Snap chat, Instagram and Facebook photos. But it will be worth it. Be the best version of you to your child. I wish you all the best.

So, to the mother to be, for a special one, i wish the journey be very fulfilling for the years to come. I pray the next two years and the years ahead, fill you with much power, strength, support and love from each side. I pray for the best of you. If time will not allow you to express the love to the one’s you once cared deeply, don’t feel disheartened. Pour it to the one’s around you. It will reach to the people you want.

There is more more to say, but the words aren’t coming in now. Maybe they will come soon and will write more about it then 🙂

Till then, wish you Lots of baby hugs!

To the Mother-To-Be sending Lots of love 🙂

I see through..

Seeing through..

Seeing through..

I see through my eyes and watch the body.
I fail to see the soul standby.

I see through skin and its blemishes
and miss the beauty rooted in.

I see through you
blinded by judgements,
from eyes of a eternal critic,

I fail and just rely on what i see,
blinded by the fantasies and the hopeful desires.

Probably that’s why it speaks,
not more than few glances you and me will stay together for long.

I need to see you through and through,
I need to be with you now and then,
through the pretty and the ugly,
through the hate and the pain.

Only then shall i see us together,
unmoved by the disturbances,
the nuances,
the likes and dislikes,
that fleet by now and then,
and taint our togetherness!

I rather chose to paint it,
with faith and trust,
and watch it shine bright,
in ups and downs,
in sorrows and happiness,
in the storms that are yet to arrive.

Come let me see you through,
Let me see you through the eyes,
that are devoid of the world and mirror the Divine!

Life after Breakup!

Breakup (rhymes with startups) is now normal. If you are human, breakups do happen.

Here is a narrative from the diaries of Breakup phase taken from first person perspective and experiences of people who have interacted with me.

Breakup? Now what?

Breakup? Now what?

“What happens when breakup happens?”
Hope this honest narrative resonates some of you. Maybe sympathize or console you or let you be out of that phase!

 

Here is a typical cycle seen in no order and can repeat “n” number of times. 

 

Chapter A. You Question about it.

 

Chapter B. There is a lot of Introspection to both sides of breakup story.

 

Chapter C. You remember your relationship again and again and sort of make efforts to get the old moments back.

 

Chapter D. You seem to give up and think or make move for someone else.
These can happen just like in any random order and can stay for as long as the ego – mind complex is not satisfied with!

 

Let’s take these one by one.

 

Chapter A. You Question about it.

 

what now?

what now?

As the last confirmation came of becoming just “friends”, I remember the moment clearly. There was only one question – Why?
Why and why haunted like hell!
I mean how can she do that?
How on earth can this even happen?
But then what happened throughout? What to it?
Why this turn around?
Can we not negotiate?
Can we not adjust?
Outrageous and pleading – oscillations happened at top speeds.
Regret and anger changed places so fast.
There was no peace.
It was either i was the victim or she was.
Mind either choose to be defensive and angry or feel guilty and regret.
It was tough. Mind wanted answers and even though it may get it , it was not ready at all to accept it.
It sought the relationship back.
It refused to absorb the present. It just refused to.
That is how the complex the mind was..

 

Look carefully, love is so powerful – It can ignite you to the superpower to do anything..Good or bad.
It can make you weak too.
It can make you blind to seeing anything else, than the other person. It can make the other person as the center of the universe. All you will see is the person and no one else.
Priority will happen next to your loved one.

 

And when love has powered you so much. imagine how will you feel when you lost it immediately?

 

Perhaps that’s how people who hoarded black money must have felt 😉
Totally helpless and powerless and exposed when Demonetization of currency was introduced.

 

Suddenly the heart comes in a state of emergency.
Whom shall it express its vastness?
Whom shall it live for?
Life can be tough for breakups!

 

You live in the “Why” all along! Listening to countless sad songs and listening to all the lyrics. Sitting lonely in some dark corners, on the rocks of the beaches staring at the Sun and showing your scarred heart!

 

And when so many questions have just arrived your inbox, you have been shut to answers.
You literally are at loss of words, action on what to do next!
Imagine the helplessness.Sigh!

 

Chapter B. There is a lot of Introspection to both sides of breakup story.

 

introspection?

introspection?

 

When the “why” has settled for sometime, you wake up to become the next optimist or pessimist. You dig for the possible conclusions to present answers to the “Why”
You become your own judge and lawyer.

 

I have often wondered, what happens in breakups..where does it go wrong ?
Quite often noted, the intentions had changed.

 

In a relationship, first you seek love.
Then you seek respect, commitment, trust and care for your ambitions.
Ever if you fail in these tests at any point of time, your intentions change to just physical intimacy and selfishness ..Relationships can hit hard then.

 

Many a times, you both begin with a mutually agreed intention.
You know how much you will stretch for each other.
But love can change everything. Your physical presence and your desires can change your intentions very quickly. One who is loitering around to just have fun can become serious and turn into a one man/woman person and one who is a one woman/man person can become the opposite.
Love is enticing and can fool you!

 

At any point if you let the relationship become the center of your life, it can just ruin everything around you. You know why? Because you would want to spend more time with your partner than things around you. Gradually one of you would just hate that! And guess what is easiest to do then? Blame and say its best to break up.
Its easier to blame on life and other’s actions, than take responsibility for your actions or explain the situation and wait for a change!

 

Life indeed becomes complicated, when you mess routine things in your life with your love life!
So what is easier to do then? Breakup! Better to drop it than let your life be dragged by it.
Breakup often is a last choice. It is not easy for many, but when things don’t seem to change for the good, it seems the only option for one!

 

Hard to digest both sides later, but the only choice left to the one taking this decision! World might seem useless to you thereafter!

 

Introspection happens. You will commit to it and then you will blame too.

 

Over period of time though, you will see these things lose power over you. One day you will definitely wake up and say, what was i doing the whole time? Was i drunk? Why did i lose my mind and time in that? One day you will say that. You will laugh at your own reaction. You will laugh at your own exhibition of emotions!

 

There are early conclusions too from these introspection and they can be disastrous..!

 

I remember in House of Cards [English TV Show], there was one scene where the Congressman Underwood sits with the parents of the deceased daughter and asked them when the Congressman was blamed for the death of their daughter.  – “What do you want me to do? Resign? Just say it?”
There was so much anger in the parents and it could not be contained with a simple apology. Resigning would not have helped. Nor killing him. The damage was more. It could not be repaired or replaced by any act of violence other than satisfying your anger. In such a state of helplessness, the anger can be so powerful that it would want to express itself. There are instances where the person felt the urge to express this anger and have harmed the other person in return via acid attacks. What happened then? It felt, if it cannot be mine, it should be for none! There have been such adverse reactions too! Such one sided interpretations can be disastrous! Introspection can help. Interpretation based on little or no communication can create problems for both!

 

Love can give you power to build a world full of joy. And you dare deny it and it can make you sad and feel closed, violent and helpless.

 

Love is expressive. It talks with the presence. It talks with the touch. It talks with words. It talks with the many actions on the level it has touched your heart!
Love can be beautiful and love can make you ugly.

 

There are some who stick go through the introspection. Some realize mutually and regain their relationship. Some give up and find someone else. And there are some who neither choose others and nor make a bold move to regain old relationship and keep living in the memories for years to come. Making regret the center of their life. Yeah Devdas exists!

 

Chapter C. You remember your relationship again and again and sort of make efforts to get the old moments back. 

 

come back please!

come back please!

When the why and the introspection has subsided, some days you might just wake up to living those moments again. Trying your every bit to find contact with the person, again.
You may struggle for words but look for all sorts of opportunities to let your presence speak. Dramatic may it sound, but yes, some do go through this phase.

 

Chapter D. You seem to give up and think or make move for someone else. 

 

back to square one.

back to square one.

It’s time. You say to yourself. You find nothing happening on the other side. Deep down, you know it, it’s not going to happen again. You choose to just bury those memories and start afresh. You start looking around again, for a hint,one moment, one glance, one step from the other side. To let open your heart again. To rejoice in those moments, again!

 

now what?

now what?

So what happens in life post breakups? Majorly all of the above and maybe more..!
Lucky are the people who get guidance on what life is.. Life is more than a broken heart. Than the luxury of the physical intimacies!
No matter how many times you have hugged or kissed the person. The end of the relationship can never be predicted. So what preserves love? Wisdom preserves love!
and what is that wisdom? That you are more than your feelings and the experience. That there is so much to give than just be a taker of love.

 

To sum it up.. what will prevent breakups?
Knowing how love is 🙂
Live the mantra and stay safe 🙂

 

Love is

Love is.

Hope your relationship grows with gratitude, respect, trust and commitment towards each other!

 

To love and beyond.
Wishing you all.
Swapnil.

Where is happiness?

So where was the Happiness?
Where is happiness?

Where is happiness?

 

Recently we visited Vapi. The agenda for the evening was totally planned for but did not happen as we thought.. What went out of our plan was later covered up with something simple and it turned out best than ever!!

I was always thinking where was happiness all along? When did it just breached all of us?
What did we do to “feel” that we are happy?
We sat in a car.
We sat and exchanged a few words just like normal conversation.
We halted and ate.
We then mindlessly wandered and went wrong on our path and then continued!
We spotted a beach and all we did was stood in the water. Click some random pictures and run on the sand.
The head was paining and tiredness was seemingly becoming evident on our faces for a while..
We headed back again to eat and to be honest, the food was normal as we eat everyday.
We sat in the Puja and then in the evening we were back again!!
 
But yet at the end of the whole experience, we felt something had entered us. Something so subtle and so good. You can call it – “Happiness”
No idea when it entered and infected all of us. It made us feel “High”
It made us care for each other, and smile at each other more.
I reflected for sometime and it seems what we called as “Happiness” was inevitably “Change” in disguise. In people, in food, in place. Change in them.
 
When we joined in the journey, there were new people ( anyone whom you haven’t interacted with much is relatively new only! ) Even if a few of them, it still means new people around. New people means you are still unaware of who they are, how they behave, what they are. This unbiased and aware state of mind, helps us relieve of the first obstacle that we all face. Being judgmental about the ones around us. This blocks our happiness. We constantly and deliberately choose to be unaware of what they might not be and aware of what they could be! This blocks our happiness. With a new person, we look to interact with a fresh mind and are open to have a healthy connection with the other person. To learn, to know and to just let the company be! We might overlook their mistakes and will not judge or label their actions often! We will treat new people like fresh-baked bread. Often with care and compassion.
 
As we moved on, i figured out food too had a relatively nicer role to play. Digging deeper, it wasn’t food. It was eating the food by “being” together. That togetherness made us feel good! Eating with the same people you often don’t realize also you are with them. Newer people means, mind automatically hints it as a good thing and you feel good having the same food that you would normally eat or maybe more casually eat.
It’s not the food, it’s who accompanies you with the food that belonging-ness fills you tummy and makes you happy!
 
Living in the same old four walls and the lanes is definitely tiring. Our mind seeks constant change. Any denial of that, and we see our insides getting rebellious! We seek for change in the place, sometimes we want to get lost in the imaginary movie world, or the virtual canvas painted by the song that you just listened to! When you go in a new place, it automatically calls for newness in your mind. It signals your brain of new. With places are attached habits, practices, sometimes unwanted thoughts or the same set of thoughts. New place automatically triggers a possibility of newer experiences in the mind. And anything that is change, is just so what the mind seeks..
 
It is not in the routine, it is in the newness that the mind seeks comfort. It is the memories that bind us to behavior and our limited actions. When you travel you open yourself to newness, to let loose the mind where it finds comfort in. Travel challenges the memories to override their default settings and to gather newer memories to rebuild our hope to build a more positive life 🙂 Travel is a game changer. It completely does what we seek but never dare – Change! But company is what makes the dare easier and helps us to go through it with a more willing mind.
 
Travel and Let that happen 🙂
 
 
 
 

​No, not there!

No, not there! 

Don’t keep me in that altar of garlands.

Keep me here. 

Not an inch away from here..

No, not in the fancy marble decoration.

Nor in the fragrance of the flowers,

Of the incense sticks, or the sweet fruits.

Keep me here.

Not in the pocket, wall frame or desk.

Not in there.

Keep me here. 

The place where you keep your loved ones.

Forever shall i reside without a thought.

And you shall not worry, 

Whether the flowers are there or not.

The lamp lits with oil or not. 

Whether the food was cooked or not, 

Or the incense sticks were fragrant or not.

Let me be there.

Keep me there.

Forever and ever, in your Heart 🙂 
No one can take me away from there.
Dare anyone reach me there.

Carefully shall I reside.

Power you on and charge your faith at all times.

Never shall you think what’s the best way to reach me.

For my best place to reach is in your heart, 

Whether sun, moon or world fall apart.

Here shall I reside,

I choose to.

Let me be here.

Closest to you. Untouched by any.

Let me there.

To fill you with joy. To strengthen your resolves.

To make life a purpose to live for.

To smile, dance, cheer and work for.
O my child, my place belongs there.

Let me be here.

No, not there.

Let me here and here forever 🙂 

{ images belong to the respective owners and not used for commercial purpose } 

This letter is meant for you. Yes for you! 

Read it when you think you have lost your faith and when you think faith needs to come back stronger. 

Read it aloud in your mind and let it resonate in you. 

Let faith be restored in you in full vigour! 

So here it goes,

Dear One, 

I know what’s happening. How it’s affecting you and surrounding yourselves all day long. This is how it is now. I know it is difficult to use the word “accept” but yeah that’s the cliché word you should follow. It’s the magical word that will fill your mind with peace again. 

Umm..Is acceptance difficult for you? 

No worries. Think of all the unlimited set of worries that have come along with the rejection of your present scenario.

Right away. Go take a paper and pen and make a list. List of what has happened because you simple chose to not accept what is happening.

Let me guess, 

Regret

Unhappiness 

Sorrow 

Misery 

Frustration

And all their friends, the list will go on.. 

They will be the base of all those you write on.

And the more you don’t accept, the more you become comfortable in this vicious cycle. 

Do you really enjoy this cycling ? 

How about I tell you..You are not at fault! You let circumstances react yourself and that you believed it was you? 

You believed you were those momentary words, events, actions that happened.

Alright, Alright..Maybe plural of momentary – many things that happened? 

And you are just ready to believe it was you? I am not telling it wasn’t you who did it..I am telling you, are you the same person right now? Are you the person who did what happened? Then why is the punishment to yourself and your teeny weeny mind? You totally deserve the best of life. You totally do. You totally deserve the right for every other thing that every happy individual does! Wait does that make you feel like an outcast? Do you think for what you did you deserve a lifetime of punishment? Maybe yes. But why do you want to punish yourself by doing things that hurt you. Let service to others be the best repentance. If you think you served someone badly. Take a vow today. Let that be the last one in my life. Vow to serve good. Pray for it. And dont let these events remind you that. For you to move on, you have to drop your past, others won’t, maybe or will drop it..It totally depends on the damage that has happened. But so what. It happened. And now you are out of it. If you want to correct it. Dont make a temporary promise. Make a permanent one, the one with a big reason, big vision. The one that will keep your intentions on check. Pray that you never sway away from the path of gratitude and happiness. Pray that greed, jealousy, negativity won’t power you down for long. Pray that you have strength to move on in life, that you have the courage to face events and to do better when the event has passed. Pray for it. They say, prayers can move mountains.. but what sort of mountains? Mountains of doubt, jealousy and negativity. Not the physical mountains but the mountains you built and surrounded yourself. The valleys of misery! 

You got to believe and trust in the power of prayer and repentance. Do it with all your heart and watch the sunrise of Faith. Faith is accepting what has happened and moving ahead with actions and good intentions that the best is happening now and in this moment! 

Do you get it? 

Did things ease out a bit for you? 

If not, just tap your back, face the mirror and say you deserve the best. 

Repent, dont torment. Repent in such a way that faith will smile back at you. 

That all those good qualities you thought ditched you, make friendship with you. 

Do it like that. YES. Like a Pro! 

Got it? 

You Better get it! 
To faith and beyond! Wish you good luck 🙂 

Sincerely always yours, 
FAITH 😉 

Stay Strong!

Stay Strong

Stay Strong 😀

So here is a poem just composed 🙂

Stay Strong!
Let nothing hamper you,
right or wrong.

The body might say,
you are gone.

The mind might compare
and sing a whining song.

The intellect will question
& whack you left & right.

The memory might drown you,
in moments you don’t want to treasure.

The ego wil hurt
and bruise and scar.

Yet my dear, You don’t get with it along.
Witness the moment & sing the happy song.

The time is now,
don’t drag yourself into why and how!

Watch the future and it’s possibilities
and let nothing doubt your capabilities!

I wish these words make you sail..
From the words & situations which carried you away!

I wish you best now and then,
I Pray you stay strong, time & again 🙂

PS : This was composed by me thinking of a dear friend of mine 🙂

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