“Wanders not the one who is lost.
Wanders the one who is the search of himself.
Through places & people.
Slowly and gradually, One finds Oneself.
Dates back to a quiet time.
There was silence.
“In some parallel world, something happens,
they are meant to be,
without your consent and with a strong reason,
to open you up and or close inside of you ;
some part, beautiful or ugly,
to leave you with a understanding that lasts for a lifetime :))”
He was Heartbroken.
But he wont let Go!
He stayed there. Quietly looking at his state.
The heart was meant to be mended.
He observed and looked everywhere, in search of a caretaker.
His heart refused to stay alone.
It needed a companion.
Lost was not the hope. But feverishness could damage.
He waited. and Waited.
Talked a lot. with whomever and tried to hide the scar.
Sometimes it gave support, sometimes it did not!
Two months sailed by. One fine day, it was.
Someone bubbling with enthusiasm and chubby he meets.Over the world wide web.
There was no intention or the thought.
But there was a feeling of happiness, the talks with her, were distracting him from the goal. The goal : to purse a person who could mend his heart!
A week or two, nothing struck to take step ahead..Until the day, her birthday came.
He wished her;with all the heart. Not with an intention,but with complete attention to be honest.
She was happy with the words 🙂
There was no mention of her in his thoughts after that..
He was gaining speed in his routine and engaging himself to be better himself from the scars..
Another month passed by, and urgency drew in..She needed his help.
Being a good person at heart, he agreed. He gave in all his effort.
She was very happy.
She got what she wanted.
There struck a link of trust.
“Trust is good. It gives some time for the person to not doubt or react immediately. The time that one seeks, that could damage the good times.”
The help sensed to her, a sense of goodness in him..
IT STRUCK HIM! Something stirred in him. Again.
He was now making moves. Negotiating unconsciously to the person to mend his scars..
It was not intentional. It happened!
The Friday came. He mustered the courage to take her out to place she wanted to go.
She could not go alone. So He had volunteered.
The journey and the presence worked.
She came back home. The evening was fabulous.
The day after he finally believed. Never give up. Never stop trying.
She just barged into an informal chat and by the time they looked at clock.. it was 5 hrs..
5hrs talking how the evening was nice 🙂
A spark again!
The week later and the next, he kept hinting her that he felt special for her..
She kept replying.. “I wait for your messages now a days” 🙂
Its the first of the month..
He finally decides, he has to decide whether to say or not those three special words..
There was enormous amount of pressure by head and lots of support by the heart..
The Heart Won!
He did the same again.. neither a call nor a meet. Just a plain message to her..
Not having guts to see what would be the reaction. He chose to just switch off himself from the electronic world and quietly slipped into tranquility!
It was dinner time. His hunger for the YES from her was stronger than the food.
Gulping down the food hurriedly, he checked in the phone.
He logged in the world wide web.
There she was. ONLINE.
Without a second thought the first words of his were.. “Did you get my message?”
She said “yes i did”… He consoled myself, be ready for a yes or no!
There was a pause by her.. She said, “sometime back she had been proposed, only to find out it was a prank..”
He affirmed. “No i am not doing any bluff.. I really like you!”
She smiled. He stressed, “Please, please, you are the ONE.. Please please can you be mine?”
a few more affirmations.. She said YES!!!!!!!
He felt triumphant, there was sense of victory inside.. His feelings won.
That night was different than ever.. Logging out he slept with a sense of relief…He found the caretaker of his heart.
Finally he was happy.
The next days were better than ever lived. Every morning, afternoon, evening and the nights, she never left his sight!
She roamed all over his thoughts.. She made him sing, write, laugh and smile..She sparkled the love in him again…
But the talks were not enough.. He wanted to MEET..He asked her out.. It was a beach..
Next day, She came. Dressed simply, her innocence and sweetness welcomed him…
He signaled the auto.
Here he was, sitting finally with the love of his life.. He looked into her eyes, they were the most beautiful.. radiating pure love!
He signaled her, and caressed her delicate hands. Never before experienced, those hands spoke kindness 🙂
They got down, there was this huge sea and the beach..
They made their way through the sand.. There was dead silence..
“Lovers never talk much.. Their presence transmits it all..”
This was so true.. He experienced it..
It was the most beautiful and pure feeling ever… He felt so good.. 🙂 They held each others hand.. walking around the unusually quiet sea..
The wind blew her hair.. He was awestruck. She looks divine!
A thought crossed… He wanted to kiss her hand..
“The true mark of gentleman is not to be lustful but be loving..”
He thought, that was just right..
He asked softly.. She put her hand ahead.. He gently kissed and in his mind, thanked Almighty for sending her..
They kept walking, she looked at her watch.. it was time for her to go!
He was more than content..That left him so full in his heart! The heart had been mended by her presence… 🙂
He was now ready.. To complete his incomplete thought.. To make way towards her heart forever!
She drove to home.. He called.. a thought crossed his head, unwilling to go away.. He asked, “did you take permission to come from your caretaker?”
Sheepishly she said NO!
He was not happy. He did not want her to break rules and trust of her caretaker.. He said with a big heart.. “Lets not meet like that when its not possible for you talk to your caretaker about it!”
The following weeks he bumped into her on a few occasions, she gave the clue and he reached..Whilst amongst her friends, they never failed to feel special.. There were glances, handshakes secretly as they dodged the sight of others..
Every second, to express the love, they utilized..
“Love does not need an occasion.. It does not give reasons.. It just finds it way and satisfies itself!”
Love no longer had any barriers.. He felt invincible.. Love brought him power albiet with a sense of responsibility..
He felt alive, He could not contain himself. It manifested in his every action.. Helping and smiling was just a way to tell others, he was filled with love!
It transformed him, he became more receptive to help, filled him with compassion and a sense to serve.. Love taught him more than he thought..
He discovered he was special. He did the same. He told her how she was also special..
Things are always great when you are in love..You get all the attention.. But too much attention is dangerous… He began creeping in almost every hour of her life…
What started with minutes now spanned hours of her day…
While he was satisfying his urge of longing and feverishness..She was sensing something fishy..
She never spoke openly.. She continue to talk and reply and kept that routine going…
It was almost two months now..
One day, she broke… “I need to talk!” He persuaded her. She wasn’t ready to get convinced but she had no choice or reason then, nothing more specific..
Another month passed, She showed signs to move away…
And the Day came, She blurted out in anger..
She was confined to him. She now longer did the things, she did earlier.. All her time was consumed by him..
She became aware.. She was more caring to herself than anyone… She knew where he was heading to…
She felt the risk, her future was more dear to her.. She mustered courage, She defended herself on her stance and She said in a very strict tone.. those dangerous lines….
“I think we are more better as we used to be.. Can we be FRIENDS again!!”
He was not ready to strike that deal.. He refused to give up…
She became more aggressive, she made it very clear by her words, “Look that’s it!”
She stopped the dialogue. She concluded! “That’s it”..
It shook him completely.. He felt devastated!
For few moments he did not realize what happened..! He was refusing to believe. She was stern..
He woke up next day..There was no one to love.. No one to say i love you!
He could not imagine the thought at all… Suddenly he was a stranger again…
He could not see the day or night.. Nor could she! It was painful to part ways but necessary all the same..
She sent a clear message to him, she loved him, but not at the cost of losing herself to the Possessiveness..!
She liked being independent. She was quiet. Simple. Hardworking. Sincere and Smart. She made a choice. She wanted to reclaim her space again..
He realized his foolishness. But now. It was too late. He could not convince much.. He was not choosing to change. He wanted to be what he was and wanted her to be how she was..
There was a big debate in his head.. He gave a million reason to be together.. But never spoke of giving respect to her thought!
It took him quite some time.. To accept his foolishness. It just took her sometime to accept her intelligence..
He was then, blind in love. He lost it! and now he was here again..
“Lost and Wandering!”