Discovering the world one day at a time!

Archive for the ‘Relationship’ Category

Clothes, Relationship and Choices

Selecting the right clothes!

Selecting the right clothes!

We don’t buy the clothes, the moment we see it, right?..We look it left right, we go to trial room and look front and back, we look if it’s not too revealing..We do a hundred tests and once you and the cloth has made a match, both give a nod and you buy it in..Do you see how you romance this process of matching your cloth before buying..Get used to that in relationship too!

Sometimes we get attracted by the family, or looks or the habits and then we stop looking at everything else.. we stop the romanticism like the cloth and just pick up the person.

Maybe one should stick to choosing person or being in relationship like the cloth, as you have to be together for the rest of times..

So even though the person is attractive or the family is.. you have to live with the person and it’s mind. So make sure these two things go with you. They are willing to be with you. Looks are great, but in long-term they don’t matter. Willingness to be together matter.

Advertisements

Thank you Sir!

​This is a story i want to share today and a express thank you to my teacher. 

This is about 10th standard, i had enrolled in tuition classes in my vicinity. The previous year I was in the same tuition class. We had one English teacher, Deshmukh Sir. He was short, bald and had a strong persona. His voice had a touch of passion for the subject. So he taught us the school syllabus. 
One day during my 9th standard classes, he asked us to write an essay. We all wrote it. Around next day, he came and praised me in front of the class. He loved what I wrote. I was overwhelmed. Never before I was praised like that. I mean teachers do evaluate, but I don’t think ever, someone stood up and said this was good or my efforts were appreciable. Not that I was a brilliant student but nevertheless you do expect teacher to value your efforts to catch up his level. I always feared his strong persona but liked and respected him as a person. 

Then in 10th standard, there were some more instances he was happy with me. 

And in the final prelims that my class conducted, i was told my Sir was very happy with how I had fared. 

Soon i gave my main 10th board exams. I scored a disappointing 55 of 100. 

I couldn’t face him eye to eye. He met me, he stared at me and showed me the notice board where the students class marks were displayed.. With a disappointing face, he questioned..Why? what happened? Why so less? 

It wasn’t that he was angry, but so deeply concerned as if he lost something. That he had failed to deliver. 

I couldn’t face it. I felt really bad i couldn’t live upto his teachings. 

Somewhere down, i promised myself to look up to him and answer him back.. 

And I took that vow!

As soon as my 11th exams finished, i got hold of the English textbook and studied it every single day for the 12th board exams. 

Not a day went where I did not pay attention in my vacations. 

Even in my college classes, i wrote things as teacher would say. I was so sincere to attend that there was a time, no one would turn up for classes and I would sit one on one with the English teacher. I was crazy with that. 

Soon prelims came and I scored a 80 off 100. I hadn’t scored exceptional marks but I did give my 101% . I was totally thankful to my teacher for this. This i dedicated to my teacher who did not just teach me the subject but told me it was his personal investment. That my result was also his win or loss. It is this value that I always treasure and cherish 🙂 

Thank you Sir for believing, valuing, appreciating and encouraging to do better and best 🙂

I know you are not here and in the heavens. I pray this thank you and my good wishes reach upto you there. 🙂

I see through..

Seeing through..

Seeing through..

I see through my eyes and watch the body.
I fail to see the soul standby.

I see through skin and its blemishes
and miss the beauty rooted in.

I see through you
blinded by judgements,
from eyes of a eternal critic,

I fail and just rely on what i see,
blinded by the fantasies and the hopeful desires.

Probably that’s why it speaks,
not more than few glances you and me will stay together for long.

I need to see you through and through,
I need to be with you now and then,
through the pretty and the ugly,
through the hate and the pain.

Only then shall i see us together,
unmoved by the disturbances,
the nuances,
the likes and dislikes,
that fleet by now and then,
and taint our togetherness!

I rather chose to paint it,
with faith and trust,
and watch it shine bright,
in ups and downs,
in sorrows and happiness,
in the storms that are yet to arrive.

Come let me see you through,
Let me see you through the eyes,
that are devoid of the world and mirror the Divine!

Life after Breakup!

Breakup (rhymes with startups) is now normal. If you are human, breakups do happen.

Here is a narrative from the diaries of Breakup phase taken from first person perspective and experiences of people who have interacted with me.

Breakup? Now what?

Breakup? Now what?

“What happens when breakup happens?”
Hope this honest narrative resonates some of you. Maybe sympathize or console you or let you be out of that phase!

 

Here is a typical cycle seen in no order and can repeat “n” number of times. 

 

Chapter A. You Question about it.

 

Chapter B. There is a lot of Introspection to both sides of breakup story.

 

Chapter C. You remember your relationship again and again and sort of make efforts to get the old moments back.

 

Chapter D. You seem to give up and think or make move for someone else.
These can happen just like in any random order and can stay for as long as the ego – mind complex is not satisfied with!

 

Let’s take these one by one.

 

Chapter A. You Question about it.

 

what now?

what now?

As the last confirmation came of becoming just “friends”, I remember the moment clearly. There was only one question – Why?
Why and why haunted like hell!
I mean how can she do that?
How on earth can this even happen?
But then what happened throughout? What to it?
Why this turn around?
Can we not negotiate?
Can we not adjust?
Outrageous and pleading – oscillations happened at top speeds.
Regret and anger changed places so fast.
There was no peace.
It was either i was the victim or she was.
Mind either choose to be defensive and angry or feel guilty and regret.
It was tough. Mind wanted answers and even though it may get it , it was not ready at all to accept it.
It sought the relationship back.
It refused to absorb the present. It just refused to.
That is how the complex the mind was..

 

Look carefully, love is so powerful – It can ignite you to the superpower to do anything..Good or bad.
It can make you weak too.
It can make you blind to seeing anything else, than the other person. It can make the other person as the center of the universe. All you will see is the person and no one else.
Priority will happen next to your loved one.

 

And when love has powered you so much. imagine how will you feel when you lost it immediately?

 

Perhaps that’s how people who hoarded black money must have felt 😉
Totally helpless and powerless and exposed when Demonetization of currency was introduced.

 

Suddenly the heart comes in a state of emergency.
Whom shall it express its vastness?
Whom shall it live for?
Life can be tough for breakups!

 

You live in the “Why” all along! Listening to countless sad songs and listening to all the lyrics. Sitting lonely in some dark corners, on the rocks of the beaches staring at the Sun and showing your scarred heart!

 

And when so many questions have just arrived your inbox, you have been shut to answers.
You literally are at loss of words, action on what to do next!
Imagine the helplessness.Sigh!

 

Chapter B. There is a lot of Introspection to both sides of breakup story.

 

introspection?

introspection?

 

When the “why” has settled for sometime, you wake up to become the next optimist or pessimist. You dig for the possible conclusions to present answers to the “Why”
You become your own judge and lawyer.

 

I have often wondered, what happens in breakups..where does it go wrong ?
Quite often noted, the intentions had changed.

 

In a relationship, first you seek love.
Then you seek respect, commitment, trust and care for your ambitions.
Ever if you fail in these tests at any point of time, your intentions change to just physical intimacy and selfishness ..Relationships can hit hard then.

 

Many a times, you both begin with a mutually agreed intention.
You know how much you will stretch for each other.
But love can change everything. Your physical presence and your desires can change your intentions very quickly. One who is loitering around to just have fun can become serious and turn into a one man/woman person and one who is a one woman/man person can become the opposite.
Love is enticing and can fool you!

 

At any point if you let the relationship become the center of your life, it can just ruin everything around you. You know why? Because you would want to spend more time with your partner than things around you. Gradually one of you would just hate that! And guess what is easiest to do then? Blame and say its best to break up.
Its easier to blame on life and other’s actions, than take responsibility for your actions or explain the situation and wait for a change!

 

Life indeed becomes complicated, when you mess routine things in your life with your love life!
So what is easier to do then? Breakup! Better to drop it than let your life be dragged by it.
Breakup often is a last choice. It is not easy for many, but when things don’t seem to change for the good, it seems the only option for one!

 

Hard to digest both sides later, but the only choice left to the one taking this decision! World might seem useless to you thereafter!

 

Introspection happens. You will commit to it and then you will blame too.

 

Over period of time though, you will see these things lose power over you. One day you will definitely wake up and say, what was i doing the whole time? Was i drunk? Why did i lose my mind and time in that? One day you will say that. You will laugh at your own reaction. You will laugh at your own exhibition of emotions!

 

There are early conclusions too from these introspection and they can be disastrous..!

 

I remember in House of Cards [English TV Show], there was one scene where the Congressman Underwood sits with the parents of the deceased daughter and asked them when the Congressman was blamed for the death of their daughter.  – “What do you want me to do? Resign? Just say it?”
There was so much anger in the parents and it could not be contained with a simple apology. Resigning would not have helped. Nor killing him. The damage was more. It could not be repaired or replaced by any act of violence other than satisfying your anger. In such a state of helplessness, the anger can be so powerful that it would want to express itself. There are instances where the person felt the urge to express this anger and have harmed the other person in return via acid attacks. What happened then? It felt, if it cannot be mine, it should be for none! There have been such adverse reactions too! Such one sided interpretations can be disastrous! Introspection can help. Interpretation based on little or no communication can create problems for both!

 

Love can give you power to build a world full of joy. And you dare deny it and it can make you sad and feel closed, violent and helpless.

 

Love is expressive. It talks with the presence. It talks with the touch. It talks with words. It talks with the many actions on the level it has touched your heart!
Love can be beautiful and love can make you ugly.

 

There are some who stick go through the introspection. Some realize mutually and regain their relationship. Some give up and find someone else. And there are some who neither choose others and nor make a bold move to regain old relationship and keep living in the memories for years to come. Making regret the center of their life. Yeah Devdas exists!

 

Chapter C. You remember your relationship again and again and sort of make efforts to get the old moments back. 

 

come back please!

come back please!

When the why and the introspection has subsided, some days you might just wake up to living those moments again. Trying your every bit to find contact with the person, again.
You may struggle for words but look for all sorts of opportunities to let your presence speak. Dramatic may it sound, but yes, some do go through this phase.

 

Chapter D. You seem to give up and think or make move for someone else. 

 

back to square one.

back to square one.

It’s time. You say to yourself. You find nothing happening on the other side. Deep down, you know it, it’s not going to happen again. You choose to just bury those memories and start afresh. You start looking around again, for a hint,one moment, one glance, one step from the other side. To let open your heart again. To rejoice in those moments, again!

 

now what?

now what?

So what happens in life post breakups? Majorly all of the above and maybe more..!
Lucky are the people who get guidance on what life is.. Life is more than a broken heart. Than the luxury of the physical intimacies!
No matter how many times you have hugged or kissed the person. The end of the relationship can never be predicted. So what preserves love? Wisdom preserves love!
and what is that wisdom? That you are more than your feelings and the experience. That there is so much to give than just be a taker of love.

 

To sum it up.. what will prevent breakups?
Knowing how love is 🙂
Live the mantra and stay safe 🙂

 

Love is

Love is.

Hope your relationship grows with gratitude, respect, trust and commitment towards each other!

 

To love and beyond.
Wishing you all.
Swapnil.

THE END!

Short Story
“The End”

The End!

The End!

“Twice bitten once shy”

The never give up attitude never left him.
For now, it seemed fun.

He felt like a pro.
Juggling around his heart and finding a new person to mend it!

It was much better than watching others.

There was a sense of satisfaction of having tried, than regretting of never doing it!

He smiled. He never won. But he won over his fears..
Once touted as the one who will never dare, to the one who never feared!

He smelled a sense of achievement.
He smelled the victory cry!

Some months before he had never thought what he could do..
It was beyond his imagination..

“But a gesture of love, can ignite a person, sometimes consuming him, to become that!”

Back as he saw, love was not the same as said..

It had its own highs and lows..

“Love is not for the one blinded in lust, Love is for the ones who enjoy the pace of it!”
“Love reveals itself. Love finds YOU! You don’t find your love..”

One find day, Love will find YOU!
It will embrace you so tight, that the whole universe will seem filled with it.

Love has it power. Misuse it  and you lose it.
Love opens up your heart. It lets you play with the heart.

“Love is being silly. Love is respecting. Love is commitment. Love is a beautiful feeling..”

Try to hold it and you will lose it..
You cannot maintain love, you can only let it BE!

Love can empower you enough to face the criticisms, it can fight it alone!

Love can give you a sense of ownership of the other person..Something that causes most break ups..
Too much of it, and you screw up the whole setup of love..

“Love it, but don’t love it enough to damage it by yourself..”

Here he was, seeing the power of love, and its downfall!

Staring at the sky he was amazed, it was full of stars.
He could feel that, When love was right there, he never sensed it, but now with her gone, he enjoyed the darkness.
There were those stars which she gave,”the snippets of love” 🙂
Something, he chose to treasure and thank her for..

The feeling of love had subsided.. He was quiet..

He felt no urge to make a move himself..He sat there, Busy joining the pieces of his heart..
Carefully, bringing them together.

“You don’t find people. They are meant to find you. For a reason, so much beyond your reason, but with a definite purpose.They might not exhibit any purpose, yet establish over time.”

This was one such instance.. Someone found him, but not for the reason he felt betrayed for..

Just a casual meet. Again. Over the world wide web..

The world wide web is funny.. It lets you showcase a part of you that you choose to show. It never shows the part, you always want to hide..
And yet we choose to believe that story.. Not, that we do not understand.. But there is a slight hope, what if? What if i can change it for the betterment of us both?

What if, this is what the other never thought of? That it can be better?

“Hope. Faith can make the worst of the crimes. Like taking a risk to do the same thing that led you to a mistake.”

Happens.

She looked stunning than the previous one. He was bowled.
She was friendlier and cheesier in her talks..
He was keeping her at bay. He never landed on the harbor initially. Observing the steps. Was it okay to dock? Or he should continue to sail ahead?

He never wanted to. But Hope? Faith?
He was a never give up guy!
He went with a precaution to himself.. He wont enter the territory to get lost! He agreed to his sane side!

But then, he changed sides.
He broke his protocols and became comfortable with her talks..
He never took it as true, although she hinted her in a first few talks. She loved to toy around the guy’s emotions.. Yes. He was emotional with the scars in!

But he was determined. To just hang around and stick to the precautions! Not knowing, the scars were still fresh!
She lured him by her talks.. He got caught. Now here he was, completely in her custody!
She won him. He lost himself in her.

But this was something different.. He could not meet her. She stayed miles away.
Oh God. This was a long distance relationship. He knew fully. Yet he took the risk!

He loved her talks. He imagined her smile. The same as was in the photo she posted.
He fantasized being with her, sitting besides and talking the same way as on phone..

Those days, he did not have plan to call her at affordable rates.. He went beyond.. He found one to talk to her as long as he wanted..

“Love is Being Mad.. It can literally make you do things, you never imagined!”

Sometimes though it comes out as better!

Long distance relationship is risk oriented..

There is no presence. and presence does it all.
Words hardly live up to. They just guide to fantasies. But presence! Presence makes it a reality!

Presence is what keep the fire in the relationship..It keeps it lit.

With lack of presence to just lit that love is not easy..
He felt the pinch. She was though, as she mentioned casual. She hinted. He never listened to that..

He was now completely lost in fantasy through her words..

A month and a half, he spent like that. He called every time. She never took that initiative..

He was out on a vacation… He informed her.. She kept being casual..

“Friends define life. They treat you beyond what you are. A side you never discover, they will make you explore that. Friends do that!”

A gala time being away. His new love life was now a topic of hot discussion. They talked over and over and saw him smile at her mention..

Back from the vacation, he tried to contact her.

She was gone! No return calls, messages, not even ONLINE!

He became curious and persistent in asking. He was being genuine.

It seemed like a lost signal. He could not trace her beyond that number. She refused to be traced too.. Shying away being ONLINE too!

He had to practice respect. He had to give her space. He chose to be committed with a slight tinge of knowing she has left him!

But he refused to believe until it were her words.

His birthday came. She wished him. He became hopeful but not for too long.She chose to be away!

One day, she decided, she came for a chat, She blurted finally.. She was already in midst of a complication, her feelings, her desires!

She was in midst of something. She was not a committed person. She loved to toy around. Some of it, made things complicated for her..

He thought maybe she sensed i was genuine and did not wanted to let me in. Also they never met!

“To lend space in heart is not so easy!”

What if you choose to take it for granted?

“NO!” She blurted out, “I am NOT your girlfriend!!”

He was not shaken that much as he was the previous time..

He decided. There was nothing on this path much to explore..

He called it “THE END!”

He chose to not explore it in the way he was doing it. He knew there was much more to life than just wandering carelessly like that..

He chose to gracefully part ways with the path..

Although many chances came,time and again, but he choose to not follow that path again.. Until as they say.

“Love FINDS YOU!”

 

PS : You can read the previous two short stories here :
“RUSH”
“The Wanderer”

The Wanderer!

Short Story

“The Wanderer”

The Wanderer

The Wanderer

Image Source

 

“Wanders not the one who is lost.
Wanders the one who is the search of himself.
Through places & people.
Slowly and gradually, One finds Oneself.
Thus!”

Dates back to a quiet time.
There was silence.

“In some parallel world, something happens,
they are meant to be,
without your consent and with a strong reason,
to open you up and or close inside of you ;
some part, beautiful or ugly,
to leave you with a understanding that lasts for a lifetime :))”

He was Heartbroken.
But he wont let Go!

He stayed there. Quietly looking at his state.
The heart was meant to be mended.
With love!

He observed and looked everywhere, in search of a caretaker.
His heart refused to stay alone.
It needed a companion.

Lost was not the hope. But feverishness could damage.

He waited. and Waited.

Talked a lot. with whomever and tried to hide the scar.
Sometimes it gave support, sometimes it did not!

Two months sailed by. One fine day, it was.
Someone bubbling with enthusiasm and chubby he meets.Over the world wide web.

There was no intention or the thought.
But there was a feeling of happiness, the talks with her, were distracting him from the goal. The goal : to purse a person who could mend his heart!

A week or two, nothing struck to take step ahead..Until the day, her birthday came.
He wished her;with all the heart. Not with an intention,but with complete attention to be honest.

She was happy with the words 🙂

There was no mention of her in his thoughts after that..
He was gaining speed in his routine and engaging himself to be better himself from the scars..

Another month passed by, and urgency drew in..She needed his help.
Being a good person at heart, he agreed. He gave in all his effort.
She was very happy.

She got what she wanted.
There struck a link of trust.

“Trust is good. It gives some time for the person to not doubt or react immediately. The time that one seeks, that could damage the good times.”

The help sensed to her, a sense of goodness in him..

IT STRUCK HIM! Something stirred in him. Again.

He was now making moves. Negotiating unconsciously to the person to mend his scars..

It was not intentional. It happened!

The Friday came. He mustered the courage to take her out to place she wanted to go.
She could not go alone. So He had volunteered.

The journey and the presence worked.

She came back home. The evening was fabulous.

The day after he finally believed. Never give up. Never stop trying.
She just barged into an informal chat and by the time they looked at clock.. it was 5 hrs..
5hrs talking how the evening was nice 🙂

A spark again!

The week later and the next, he kept hinting her that he felt special for her..
She kept replying.. “I wait for your messages now a days” 🙂

Its the first of the month..
He finally decides, he has to decide whether to say or not those three special words..
There was enormous amount of pressure by head and lots of support by the heart..

The Heart Won!

He did the same again.. neither a call nor a meet. Just a plain message to her..
Not having guts to see what would be the reaction. He chose to just switch off himself from the electronic world and quietly slipped into tranquility!

It was dinner time. His hunger for the YES from her was stronger than the food.
Gulping down the food hurriedly, he checked in the phone.
No reply.

He logged in the world wide web.
There she was. ONLINE.

Without a second thought the first words of his were.. “Did you get my message?”

She said “yes i did”… He consoled myself, be ready for a yes or no!

There was a pause by her.. She said, “sometime back she had been proposed, only to find out it was a prank..”

He affirmed. “No i am not doing any bluff.. I really like you!”

She smiled. He stressed, “Please, please, you are the ONE.. Please please can you be mine?”

a few more affirmations.. She said YES!!!!!!!

FINALLY!

He felt triumphant, there was sense of victory inside.. His feelings won.

That night was different than ever.. Logging out he slept with a sense of relief…He found the caretaker of his heart.

Finally he was happy.

The next days were better than ever lived. Every morning, afternoon, evening and the nights, she never left his sight!

She roamed all over his thoughts.. She made him sing, write, laugh and smile..She sparkled the love in him again…

But the talks were not enough.. He wanted to MEET..He asked her out.. It was a beach..

Next day, She came. Dressed simply, her innocence and sweetness welcomed him…

He signaled the auto.

Here he was, sitting finally with the love of his life.. He looked into her eyes, they were the most beautiful.. radiating pure love!

He signaled her, and caressed her delicate hands. Never before experienced, those hands spoke kindness 🙂

They got down, there was this huge sea and the beach..

They made their way through the sand.. There was dead silence..

“Lovers never talk much.. Their presence transmits it all..”

This was so true.. He experienced it..

It was the most beautiful and pure feeling ever… He felt so good.. 🙂 They held each others hand.. walking around the unusually quiet sea..

The wind blew her hair.. He was awestruck. She looks divine!

A thought crossed… He wanted to kiss her hand..

“The true mark of gentleman is not to be lustful but be loving..”

He thought, that was just right..

He asked softly.. She put her hand ahead.. He gently kissed and in his mind, thanked Almighty for sending her..

They kept walking, she looked at her watch.. it was time for her to go!

He was more than content..That left him so full in his heart! The heart had been mended by her presence… 🙂

He was now ready.. To complete his incomplete thought.. To make way towards her heart forever!

She drove to home.. He called.. a thought crossed his head, unwilling to go away.. He asked, “did you take permission to come from your caretaker?”

Sheepishly she said NO!

He was not happy. He did not want her to break rules and trust of her caretaker.. He said with a big heart.. “Lets not meet like that when its not possible for you talk to your caretaker about it!”

The following weeks he bumped into her on a few occasions, she gave the clue and he reached..Whilst amongst her friends, they never failed to feel special.. There were glances, handshakes secretly as they dodged the sight of others..

Every second, to express the love, they utilized..

“Love does not need an occasion.. It does not give reasons.. It just finds it way and satisfies itself!”

Love no longer had any barriers.. He felt invincible.. Love brought him power albiet with a sense of responsibility..

He felt alive, He could not contain himself. It manifested in his every action.. Helping and smiling was just a way to tell others, he was filled with love!

It transformed him, he became more receptive to help, filled him with compassion and a sense to serve.. Love taught him more than he thought..

He discovered he was special. He did the same. He told her how she was also special..

Things are always great when you are in love..You get all the attention.. But too much attention is dangerous… He began creeping in almost every hour of her life…

What started with minutes now spanned hours of her day…

While he was satisfying his urge of longing and feverishness..She was sensing something fishy..

She never spoke openly.. She continue to talk and reply and kept that routine going…

It was almost two months now..

One day, she broke… “I need to talk!” He persuaded her. She wasn’t ready to get convinced but she had no choice or reason then, nothing more specific..

Another month passed, She showed signs to move away…

And the Day came, She blurted out in anger..

She was confined to him. She now longer did the things, she did earlier.. All her time was consumed by him..

She became aware.. She was more caring to herself than anyone… She knew where he was heading to…

She felt the risk, her future was more dear to her.. She mustered courage, She defended herself on her stance and She said in a very strict tone.. those dangerous lines….

“I think we are more better as we used to be.. Can we be FRIENDS again!!”

He was not ready to strike that deal.. He refused to give up…

She became more aggressive, she made it very clear by her words, “Look that’s it!”

She stopped the dialogue. She concluded! “That’s it”..

It shook him completely.. He felt devastated!

For few moments he did not realize what happened..! He was refusing to believe. She was stern..

He woke up next day..There was no one to love.. No one to say i love you!

He could not imagine the thought at all… Suddenly he was a stranger again…

He could not see the day or night.. Nor could she! It was painful to part ways but necessary all the same..

She sent a clear message to him, she loved him, but not at the cost of losing herself to the Possessiveness..!

She liked being independent. She was quiet. Simple. Hardworking. Sincere and Smart. She made a choice. She wanted to reclaim her space again..

He realized his foolishness. But now. It was too late. He could not convince much.. He was not choosing to change. He wanted to be what he was and wanted her to be how she was..

There was a big debate in his head.. He gave a million reason to be together.. But never spoke of giving respect to her thought!

It took him quite some time.. To accept his foolishness. It just took her sometime to accept her intelligence..

He was then, blind in love. He lost it! and now he was here again..
Lost and Wandering!”

PS : You can also read other short stories here :
“RUSH”
“The End”

RUSH!

My first short story :
“Rush”

The Rush

The Rush

Image Source
Dates back to an era whilst the smartphones were not so much existing in the households…
They were not the only ones to be loved.

“Amidst the chaos is the light.
The light that guides.
The light that find you way to your happiness.”

For years there was a thought..
why would one need a light to light up his life?
I mean a stranger person to fill you up?
Really?

For years the cupid lay asleep, watching me wake up one fine day!
Then. it targeted me.

There seemed a gush of energy, flowing in..
The atmosphere was feverish.

Now finally, those incidents, gushed in my memories..
There was something in the air.. something special..
I guessed some called it love?

Suddenly all the meetings seemed to talk as if building a fact inside my head..
That, i had developed a special something for the person or maybe the person also had?

The feeling so strong.. captured me..
I felt unarmed and conquered..
For moments, it felt exciting, wonderful!

I looked back again and again, the same moments, played..
So much.
The heart thomped with excitement.

As the feeling went strong, there was a demand..
She must meet. I must take a move forward.

I waited. The next step was unknown. The goal clear.

I wanted her. To get that special feeling.
I wanted to ask. Rather i wanted to experience..
Can you recreate it again, being in front?

Just you. and the fantasies would spark off.
Just presence was enough.
No touch. Just your presence did it and can do it!

Can we. can you? Lets meet?

Heart pounded with excitement.. Finally.. What is it? Is that love or is that what?
Na. Forget it. That special something is very luring to ignore..

Lets Meet..
But how? What do i describe the reason to meet?
Never before there was a reason to meet unlike this?
Never before a feeling like this for a person?
Will i be accepted? What will happen?
Lets Be. Keep calm. Its not love. Maybe i am overdoing it?
Ugh. Lets keep calm.
for once, Brain intervened. Heart though unnerved kept sparking the curiosity!

Hours passed. It felt days.
Never before time had been cheating me.
How come.

Brain ordered lets go to that event.
I was not ready to move. Heart fixed its gaze on her. Wherever she was. The picture was still.

I was relenting.. Then took a step..
The thoughts. Still the same..

a few steps. a few laughs. Friends in sight 🙂

For a moment there was void. I felt good.

and then… Boom..

She CAME!

Oh God, My whole self smiled like anything..

I was amazed. I wanted to keep staring. Alas. I realised she did not know! 😦
I held myself. Controlling to not express.

Day 2, 3, 4 same.. !
God! Is the universe conspiring to make it happen?

Was i right? It is Love! Oh come on!

Yes. Okay. gasp. I am in LOVE!

Wow! This is Love.. Wow!

How do i tell her? Should i meet? No.
Should i call? No.

Feverishness gripped me..!
Not letting me go and not letting me BE!

SMS? Really? Comm’on lets TRY?
What if, She thinks as ME?

The mobile it is..
Types out with excitement..

Dear One, I Love You. Will you be mine?
I pressed enter!

Phone was kept upside down. Silent mode.
There was silence. There was this huge sense of achievement.
Never before i had this emotion, and here i am, to express myself!

The night was different. With brief moments of quietly creeping on the phone screen..
Has it come? Sms, Call?

Two days passed! I kept waiting. Not to hurry. Heart said..!

Finally it gave in.. I asked.. Hey did u see my message “THAT” night?

There was a pause. Then an answer, Ya i saw..!

I pushed her to reply.. Then?

She replied in a flat tone : Ummm, I dont think about you that way! I respect you much. This feels weird. Do you get this?

I did not know what to say… Still Nodded okay..

She said : okay then.. and hung up!

What happened?

Was that a rejection? Noooo!

I felt the urge again, mustered courage and ask.. Can we meet? Pls?

She avoided…

I tossed and turned. Furious and feverish..
I WANT HER!! and NOWWW!!

I was helpless.. This was cruel..
could not cry.. could not laugh!

Void!

Days passed. I had to digest it.. She rejected ME!

😦

 

 

PS : You can also read other short stories here :
“The Wanderer”
“The End”

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: