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Clothes, Relationship and Choices

Selecting the right clothes!

Selecting the right clothes!

We don’t buy the clothes, the moment we see it, right?..We look it left right, we go to trial room and look front and back, we look if it’s not too revealing..We do a hundred tests and once you and the cloth has made a match, both give a nod and you buy it in..Do you see how you romance this process of matching your cloth before buying..Get used to that in relationship too!

Sometimes we get attracted by the family, or looks or the habits and then we stop looking at everything else.. we stop the romanticism like the cloth and just pick up the person.

Maybe one should stick to choosing person or being in relationship like the cloth, as you have to be together for the rest of times..

So even though the person is attractive or the family is.. you have to live with the person and it’s mind. So make sure these two things go with you. They are willing to be with you. Looks are great, but in long-term they don’t matter. Willingness to be together matter.

Guru Charitra – Experience and thoughts.

So read this book – “Guru Charitra”

Writing few words on reading the English translation of this book. The Marathi version is very much in detail and is read with a particular discipline. I followed the “Parayan” reading rules for reading the book. Which meant i read chapters in bunch as prescribed for best uninterrupted experience to get the expected essence from the book. 
Understanding this needs one to have faith in the stories that have happened in real. Reading books like this helps you to understand why is the particular person or diety worshipped. Many might reject the devotion or love by ignoring to read. But i feel reading one gets a Glimpse of what is that which was revered so much and helps you to interact with community following it with so much reverence. One must read with an open mind. Faithful people will find solace in the book. The explanation of misery through cause and effect or Karma spanning not just this lifetime but also from past and subsequent relieving experiences might act as solace to many. 
I found this book amazing and it talks in detail through life stories of Gurudev Sri Narasimha Saraswati and Gurudev Sripad Shri Vallabha about the many questions that come across people. 
Right from Karma Kanda to Gyana to Bhakti to letting know everything has some reason and that pure love, praytna, prayaschitta, devotion can let you cross any dungeon or mountain that traps you into viels of misery.
It also helps us give perspective into aachar / code of conduct that can benefit and give many peace of mind. 
It goes to explain through many examples that all that misery never stays for long and that Divine is every listening. It also tries to make us understand many of life miseries are a direct result of our own action and sincere prayer and vow and readiness for repentance is the best remedy.
An open disclaimer is also given which talks that certain things were right according to the time period of the stories and users should read it with discretion.
Overall reading it definitely acts and gives effect as a soothing balm to the troubled/ inquisitive / doubtful mind. I recommend this to be read by all. 

O what a pity!

This poem is so like the Almighty speaking of how the human mind is and trying to make him aware of where it’s heading to. Lovingly it is trying to convince and give him a solution.  

“O what a pity”


O what a pity!
The mind is fixated on the fleeting,

And aiming for the infinite.

Why so it is troubled much

Living in the finite? 
O what a pity!

The mind is not in the moment,

Stuck in the past,

Person, judgement, object, event and so many reasons.

Stuck in the material and 

craving for comfort

How shall I tell what is the real comfort?
Is it in the bed,

Or the television, 

Or the music, 

Or the season? 

True comfort ain’t in a single thing

O What a pity!
How do i describe 

Where I am? How do i look?

Where can I be found?

I am not 

in the idols,

In the altar,

In the photos you swear.

I am in the heart of the One,

That eternally say the prayer.
I am the kindness,

I am the justice,

I am the love 

That pours in infinite ways,

I am the breeze,

I am the light,

I am the water that quenches your thirst. 
I am where you won’t see me.

I am everywhere.

Open your eyes and witness me.

Wake up from the pity 

And walk with dignity. 
Don’t beg for little,

Ask for more,

Not by greed 

But humility and gratitude galore. 

Ask for the need,

and to serve the needy.

Ask for the good 

and to give back it in heaps and bounty. 

Ask for the wealth 

and to charity.

Ask for everything

and a mind in sanity. 
O what a pity 

Man asks for little,

It craves for the fleeting

And complains me befitting. 

Do not O mortal, 

Think I shall grant only what you seek.

Look beyond and Divine is within your reach. 
O what a pity!

It fails to see,

actions has equal reaction.

your inaction has equal reaction. 

Do not worry still o mortal.

Do not grieve.

Pray and you shall receive ! 

O child of God

Here is a recently composed poem that talks about God being there for us all the time. 


Oh Child of God,

Keep me not in the idol,

Keep me in the heart. 

Keep me there,

And watch the faith intact. 
If words of man,

Makes you low,

Chants of mine, 

Shall bring you high. 

Take the power, 

And walk the moment.

For dwelling there,

Would only cause suffering. 
What do you fear,

Of loss of loved one,

Of no money there,

Of no respect,

Of no fame?
What is your fear,

That rocks your heart,

That makes you sad? 
Fear not if you lose everything,

For i shall come, in ways unknown.

Not in the altar,

Not in the idol,

And make you witness,

The faith wave tidal. 

So much shall you get,

One day shall you weep,

That I lost something,

To gain everything! 

I see through..

Seeing through..

Seeing through..

I see through my eyes and watch the body.
I fail to see the soul standby.

I see through skin and its blemishes
and miss the beauty rooted in.

I see through you
blinded by judgements,
from eyes of a eternal critic,

I fail and just rely on what i see,
blinded by the fantasies and the hopeful desires.

Probably that’s why it speaks,
not more than few glances you and me will stay together for long.

I need to see you through and through,
I need to be with you now and then,
through the pretty and the ugly,
through the hate and the pain.

Only then shall i see us together,
unmoved by the disturbances,
the nuances,
the likes and dislikes,
that fleet by now and then,
and taint our togetherness!

I rather chose to paint it,
with faith and trust,
and watch it shine bright,
in ups and downs,
in sorrows and happiness,
in the storms that are yet to arrive.

Come let me see you through,
Let me see you through the eyes,
that are devoid of the world and mirror the Divine!

Life after Breakup!

Breakup (rhymes with startups) is now normal. If you are human, breakups do happen.

Here is a narrative from the diaries of Breakup phase taken from first person perspective and experiences of people who have interacted with me.

Breakup? Now what?

Breakup? Now what?

“What happens when breakup happens?”
Hope this honest narrative resonates some of you. Maybe sympathize or console you or let you be out of that phase!

 

Here is a typical cycle seen in no order and can repeat “n” number of times. 

 

Chapter A. You Question about it.

 

Chapter B. There is a lot of Introspection to both sides of breakup story.

 

Chapter C. You remember your relationship again and again and sort of make efforts to get the old moments back.

 

Chapter D. You seem to give up and think or make move for someone else.
These can happen just like in any random order and can stay for as long as the ego – mind complex is not satisfied with!

 

Let’s take these one by one.

 

Chapter A. You Question about it.

 

what now?

what now?

As the last confirmation came of becoming just “friends”, I remember the moment clearly. There was only one question – Why?
Why and why haunted like hell!
I mean how can she do that?
How on earth can this even happen?
But then what happened throughout? What to it?
Why this turn around?
Can we not negotiate?
Can we not adjust?
Outrageous and pleading – oscillations happened at top speeds.
Regret and anger changed places so fast.
There was no peace.
It was either i was the victim or she was.
Mind either choose to be defensive and angry or feel guilty and regret.
It was tough. Mind wanted answers and even though it may get it , it was not ready at all to accept it.
It sought the relationship back.
It refused to absorb the present. It just refused to.
That is how the complex the mind was..

 

Look carefully, love is so powerful – It can ignite you to the superpower to do anything..Good or bad.
It can make you weak too.
It can make you blind to seeing anything else, than the other person. It can make the other person as the center of the universe. All you will see is the person and no one else.
Priority will happen next to your loved one.

 

And when love has powered you so much. imagine how will you feel when you lost it immediately?

 

Perhaps that’s how people who hoarded black money must have felt 😉
Totally helpless and powerless and exposed when Demonetization of currency was introduced.

 

Suddenly the heart comes in a state of emergency.
Whom shall it express its vastness?
Whom shall it live for?
Life can be tough for breakups!

 

You live in the “Why” all along! Listening to countless sad songs and listening to all the lyrics. Sitting lonely in some dark corners, on the rocks of the beaches staring at the Sun and showing your scarred heart!

 

And when so many questions have just arrived your inbox, you have been shut to answers.
You literally are at loss of words, action on what to do next!
Imagine the helplessness.Sigh!

 

Chapter B. There is a lot of Introspection to both sides of breakup story.

 

introspection?

introspection?

 

When the “why” has settled for sometime, you wake up to become the next optimist or pessimist. You dig for the possible conclusions to present answers to the “Why”
You become your own judge and lawyer.

 

I have often wondered, what happens in breakups..where does it go wrong ?
Quite often noted, the intentions had changed.

 

In a relationship, first you seek love.
Then you seek respect, commitment, trust and care for your ambitions.
Ever if you fail in these tests at any point of time, your intentions change to just physical intimacy and selfishness ..Relationships can hit hard then.

 

Many a times, you both begin with a mutually agreed intention.
You know how much you will stretch for each other.
But love can change everything. Your physical presence and your desires can change your intentions very quickly. One who is loitering around to just have fun can become serious and turn into a one man/woman person and one who is a one woman/man person can become the opposite.
Love is enticing and can fool you!

 

At any point if you let the relationship become the center of your life, it can just ruin everything around you. You know why? Because you would want to spend more time with your partner than things around you. Gradually one of you would just hate that! And guess what is easiest to do then? Blame and say its best to break up.
Its easier to blame on life and other’s actions, than take responsibility for your actions or explain the situation and wait for a change!

 

Life indeed becomes complicated, when you mess routine things in your life with your love life!
So what is easier to do then? Breakup! Better to drop it than let your life be dragged by it.
Breakup often is a last choice. It is not easy for many, but when things don’t seem to change for the good, it seems the only option for one!

 

Hard to digest both sides later, but the only choice left to the one taking this decision! World might seem useless to you thereafter!

 

Introspection happens. You will commit to it and then you will blame too.

 

Over period of time though, you will see these things lose power over you. One day you will definitely wake up and say, what was i doing the whole time? Was i drunk? Why did i lose my mind and time in that? One day you will say that. You will laugh at your own reaction. You will laugh at your own exhibition of emotions!

 

There are early conclusions too from these introspection and they can be disastrous..!

 

I remember in House of Cards [English TV Show], there was one scene where the Congressman Underwood sits with the parents of the deceased daughter and asked them when the Congressman was blamed for the death of their daughter.  – “What do you want me to do? Resign? Just say it?”
There was so much anger in the parents and it could not be contained with a simple apology. Resigning would not have helped. Nor killing him. The damage was more. It could not be repaired or replaced by any act of violence other than satisfying your anger. In such a state of helplessness, the anger can be so powerful that it would want to express itself. There are instances where the person felt the urge to express this anger and have harmed the other person in return via acid attacks. What happened then? It felt, if it cannot be mine, it should be for none! There have been such adverse reactions too! Such one sided interpretations can be disastrous! Introspection can help. Interpretation based on little or no communication can create problems for both!

 

Love can give you power to build a world full of joy. And you dare deny it and it can make you sad and feel closed, violent and helpless.

 

Love is expressive. It talks with the presence. It talks with the touch. It talks with words. It talks with the many actions on the level it has touched your heart!
Love can be beautiful and love can make you ugly.

 

There are some who stick go through the introspection. Some realize mutually and regain their relationship. Some give up and find someone else. And there are some who neither choose others and nor make a bold move to regain old relationship and keep living in the memories for years to come. Making regret the center of their life. Yeah Devdas exists!

 

Chapter C. You remember your relationship again and again and sort of make efforts to get the old moments back. 

 

come back please!

come back please!

When the why and the introspection has subsided, some days you might just wake up to living those moments again. Trying your every bit to find contact with the person, again.
You may struggle for words but look for all sorts of opportunities to let your presence speak. Dramatic may it sound, but yes, some do go through this phase.

 

Chapter D. You seem to give up and think or make move for someone else. 

 

back to square one.

back to square one.

It’s time. You say to yourself. You find nothing happening on the other side. Deep down, you know it, it’s not going to happen again. You choose to just bury those memories and start afresh. You start looking around again, for a hint,one moment, one glance, one step from the other side. To let open your heart again. To rejoice in those moments, again!

 

now what?

now what?

So what happens in life post breakups? Majorly all of the above and maybe more..!
Lucky are the people who get guidance on what life is.. Life is more than a broken heart. Than the luxury of the physical intimacies!
No matter how many times you have hugged or kissed the person. The end of the relationship can never be predicted. So what preserves love? Wisdom preserves love!
and what is that wisdom? That you are more than your feelings and the experience. That there is so much to give than just be a taker of love.

 

To sum it up.. what will prevent breakups?
Knowing how love is 🙂
Live the mantra and stay safe 🙂

 

Love is

Love is.

Hope your relationship grows with gratitude, respect, trust and commitment towards each other!

 

To love and beyond.
Wishing you all.
Swapnil.

Where is happiness?

So where was the Happiness?
Where is happiness?

Where is happiness?

 

Recently we visited Vapi. The agenda for the evening was totally planned for but did not happen as we thought.. What went out of our plan was later covered up with something simple and it turned out best than ever!!

I was always thinking where was happiness all along? When did it just breached all of us?
What did we do to “feel” that we are happy?
We sat in a car.
We sat and exchanged a few words just like normal conversation.
We halted and ate.
We then mindlessly wandered and went wrong on our path and then continued!
We spotted a beach and all we did was stood in the water. Click some random pictures and run on the sand.
The head was paining and tiredness was seemingly becoming evident on our faces for a while..
We headed back again to eat and to be honest, the food was normal as we eat everyday.
We sat in the Puja and then in the evening we were back again!!
 
But yet at the end of the whole experience, we felt something had entered us. Something so subtle and so good. You can call it – “Happiness”
No idea when it entered and infected all of us. It made us feel “High”
It made us care for each other, and smile at each other more.
I reflected for sometime and it seems what we called as “Happiness” was inevitably “Change” in disguise. In people, in food, in place. Change in them.
 
When we joined in the journey, there were new people ( anyone whom you haven’t interacted with much is relatively new only! ) Even if a few of them, it still means new people around. New people means you are still unaware of who they are, how they behave, what they are. This unbiased and aware state of mind, helps us relieve of the first obstacle that we all face. Being judgmental about the ones around us. This blocks our happiness. We constantly and deliberately choose to be unaware of what they might not be and aware of what they could be! This blocks our happiness. With a new person, we look to interact with a fresh mind and are open to have a healthy connection with the other person. To learn, to know and to just let the company be! We might overlook their mistakes and will not judge or label their actions often! We will treat new people like fresh-baked bread. Often with care and compassion.
 
As we moved on, i figured out food too had a relatively nicer role to play. Digging deeper, it wasn’t food. It was eating the food by “being” together. That togetherness made us feel good! Eating with the same people you often don’t realize also you are with them. Newer people means, mind automatically hints it as a good thing and you feel good having the same food that you would normally eat or maybe more casually eat.
It’s not the food, it’s who accompanies you with the food that belonging-ness fills you tummy and makes you happy!
 
Living in the same old four walls and the lanes is definitely tiring. Our mind seeks constant change. Any denial of that, and we see our insides getting rebellious! We seek for change in the place, sometimes we want to get lost in the imaginary movie world, or the virtual canvas painted by the song that you just listened to! When you go in a new place, it automatically calls for newness in your mind. It signals your brain of new. With places are attached habits, practices, sometimes unwanted thoughts or the same set of thoughts. New place automatically triggers a possibility of newer experiences in the mind. And anything that is change, is just so what the mind seeks..
 
It is not in the routine, it is in the newness that the mind seeks comfort. It is the memories that bind us to behavior and our limited actions. When you travel you open yourself to newness, to let loose the mind where it finds comfort in. Travel challenges the memories to override their default settings and to gather newer memories to rebuild our hope to build a more positive life 🙂 Travel is a game changer. It completely does what we seek but never dare – Change! But company is what makes the dare easier and helps us to go through it with a more willing mind.
 
Travel and Let that happen 🙂
 
 
 
 

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